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Look in my diary and you will see that I am not happy.
It has been suggested to me that if I could find a way to be happy in general, outside of my work, then I would be much happier with the work I have now. And in fact I am finding my work more pleasant now than I did a few months ago.
I have been reading up on how to be happy, and have even been working on an article called What is the Key to Happiness? Right now I think it is one of the worst essays I have ever written. Ironically, it is the #1 hit at Google for the query key to happiness, testifying to the difficulty of finding happiness, so difficult that Google judges my pathetic scrawl to be better than anything else available on the web.
I've been taking piano lessons since January, hoping to find happiness in my music. At one time my piano gave me great comfort, but in recent years my playing has stagnated. I've been having a hard time with the lessons. I feel so stupid whenever I try to play anything new, I can play haltingly at best with my fingers stumbling over the keys.
But I've persisted, and have learned to play a few pieces that I really enjoy, that sound richer and more interesting than the simple exercises in my method books. I've started practicing more regularly. I can see how sufferring through the lessons and the clumsy practicing will pay off in that soon I will enjoy the piano again.
Finding happiness is harder for me than for most people. I don't expect that I will ever be happy for any length of time, and expect I'll have to struggle to find the few fleeting moments of happiness that I do get to enjoy. I expect that I will always be searching.
I am not happy. Yet I am aware it is within my power to become so.
It has been suggested to me that if I could find a way to be happy in general, outside of my work, then I would be much happier with the work I have now. And in fact I am finding my work more pleasant now than I did a few months ago.
I have been reading up on how to be happy, and have even been working on an article called What is the Key to Happiness? Right now I think it is one of the worst essays I have ever written. Ironically, it is the #1 hit at Google for the query key to happiness, testifying to the difficulty of finding happiness, so difficult that Google judges my pathetic scrawl to be better than anything else available on the web.
I've been taking piano lessons since January, hoping to find happiness in my music. At one time my piano gave me great comfort, but in recent years my playing has stagnated. I've been having a hard time with the lessons. I feel so stupid whenever I try to play anything new, I can play haltingly at best with my fingers stumbling over the keys.
But I've persisted, and have learned to play a few pieces that I really enjoy, that sound richer and more interesting than the simple exercises in my method books. I've started practicing more regularly. I can see how sufferring through the lessons and the clumsy practicing will pay off in that soon I will enjoy the piano again.
Finding happiness is harder for me than for most people. I don't expect that I will ever be happy for any length of time, and expect I'll have to struggle to find the few fleeting moments of happiness that I do get to enjoy. I expect that I will always be searching.
I am not happy. Yet I am aware it is within my power to become so.
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